Piecemeal. That’s how I do it. I just figured it out. Just like I did it before––a little bite at a time. I don’t do particularly well without structure; that much I’ve learned about myself. So Friday it is. On Fridays I blog. It is good to be back on the page, my friend.
I have all these big thoughts, big ideas, big dreams. I want to blow your mind with my first entry, as I haven’t written for a while. A year, to be exact. I’ve changed so much and I want to show it to you straight away. See…see!!? But wanting to blow your mind is a shitty motive for doing anything, as how the hell am I supposed to figure out what blows your mind?
So I simply start writing, and see where it goes.
I’ll be much more likely to blow your mind, unexpectedly, one of these days when I’m not trying so hard. When everything isn’t hanging on this one moment.
And that has been a central theme of my life, hasn’t it? Wanting to impress, wanting approval, wanting validation. Wanting it, so desperately, from people who I could never get it from. I give up. I’m fucking doing my own thing. However imperfect that may be.
My blog is my little weekly art project, a piece of my mind, and this is how I take the pressure off of it. It is not trying to accomplish anything, and if it does, so be it. The most important thing is to begin.
See you next Friday.