There is nothing in my life that is more important than my relationships. Of course health has to come first and foremost, but this week I noticed that all other things pale in comparison to how much certain people mean to me.
I’m learning that in order for any relationship to stay balanced and healthy, the participants must all be growing and moving forward in life at a similar rate. This is particularly true of love relationships, but in my opinion it is accurate regarding friendships as well. A lopsided relationship may work for a while, but eventually the one who’s further ahead will start to lose interest. The gap widens, there is less in common, and thus the glue that used to hold two friends together will cease to remain stretchy gooey.
People subsist in all kinds of relationships. Some people prefer an uneven relationship for control-reasons, for reasons of insecurity, for financial reasons, for lack of real choice. Having experienced my share of inequality when it comes to my relationships with people, I am now determined to make sure that I keep my side of the street clean. I will no longer tolerate imbalance.
The examples we get in childhood about relationships are powerful. Those may not always be the templates that we want to model our lives on… Mutual respect and admiration are perhaps not the values that I grew up with, but they sure are the principles I want to live by as an adult. I refuse to hold anyone back in their lives; I am smart enough to notice if and when that happens. But equally, I think that those who want to hang with me must roll with me one way or another.
“There are no breaks in pingpong”, said a friend of mine as she accidentally hit me on the head with the ball. True that, I was not on it right at that very moment. No breaks in life either. If I don’t work towards growth and health, real intimacy and real connection, I won’t be able to hold on to the ones I love. And the ones I love are taking no breaks in ping pong. So I’m going to keep playing too. The upside is that the game keeps getting more and more exciting!