I can’t believe that it’s almost November already. Never has a year passed by this fast! And what a ride it has been…so far..! I shared in the beginning of the year in one of my posts about a ritual that I do with two of my close friends, where we draw a tarot-card to suggest a theme for the coming year. I drew the Death-card for 2013, which, while initially frightening, was in fact not an actual death sentence by any means. Instead, it hinted of a year of transition, change and destruction, followed by renewal.

“Whether you like it or not, Death is one of the most powerful cards in the Tarot. Humans naturally fear the unknown, and so Death is our greatest fear since it is the greatest unknown. The majority of us are unaware that our mind and spirit die all the time, constantly shedding old beliefs and acquiring new ones. It has been said many times by many readers: the Death card is not a card of death – it is a card of transformation.”
— James Rioux, ata-tarot.com

I’ve thought about the Death-card a lot this year, as I have most certainly been through immense transformations. The way I view myself and my life is different than before; the way I operate in my career is being renewed time and time again, and many close relationships are simply not the same as they were, nor will they ever be. While there have been moments of devastating realizations, there has also been the peace that followed. When a truth that I’ve been unwilling to look at becomes evident, there is always a reward of clear-headedness. I wouldn’t wish to be challenged in all the many ways that I have been, but then again, I also wouldn’t wish it any other way. 

“When Death appears it almost always signifies a major change in one’s life. Sometimes the change will appear disruptive and unexpected, sometimes it will be a breath of fresh air – clearing away obstacles and allowing you to surge forward. So do not assume that Death is a negative card – it is often just what we need in order to progress when fear is holding us up.”
— Jan Shepherd, AngelPaths.com

I have found that our yearly card-drawing-ritual has been helpful to me in that I’ve been more welcoming to the changes that have come. I’ve also possibly been a little more willing to allow myself to feel all the feelings that have come along with those changes — knowing on a deeper level that all things, feelings included, shall pass.

All my life, I’ve been dependent on people and things in many different ways. The biggest transformation for me this year has been the cutting of numerous strings and even some chains. I still have some left that bind me, but I’m no longer tangled in the way that I was. Perhaps there’s a feeling of safety, being tied up in all kinds of knots, but I’m willing to let that go now and stand on my own two feet. If that requires a series of deaths, so be it.

In honor of Halloween, I attach a picture of a vintage Death-card, that looks a whole lot like the card I picked out from the deck some ten months ago. Actually, it doesn’t look so scary at all..!