#$^**@%##!!!!! Why the fuck do certain lessons have to be learned so many fucking times until they are permanently absorbed??!! When, in fact, will they be permanently absorbed? How many times do I have to fucking fall and get back up? Why is it I always have to learn how to get back up–why can’t I ever remember it from last time? Man. Life is like this, eh? You never know what fucking chocolate you’re gonna get.
Had I written this on any other day this week, I would have been expressing entirely different emotions. But in all that I do these days, I strive for honesty. Even if it’s ugly, and not what people would like to hear. I’m not saying I always succeed in being truthful and real, but it would not occur to me to write about bunnies today. I am confused, pissed off, anxious and depressed. And so be it. Nothing in this universe is permanent and neither is this feeling. Looking forward to permanently absorbing that statement.
“Let’s tell the truth to people. When people ask, ‘How are you?’ have the nerve sometimes to answer truthfully. You must know, however, that people will start avoiding you because, they, too, have knees that pain them and heads that hurt and they don’t want to know about yours. But think of it this way: If people avoid you, you will have more time to meditate and do fine research on a cure for whatever truly afflicts you.”
― Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter