I walk a fine line with my blog sometimes, in wanting to express my emotions, in wanting to connect, and yet not expose myself and my life entirely. I find that line especially challenging to tread today, as most of what I’m experiencing right now I feel fragile and protective about. Indeed, I feel quite vulnerable now, despite being stronger than ever. Perhaps it’s a function of being more present….
In the recent and coming weeks, I am opening myself up to many things that I’ve been protecting myself from… In short, I am deciding to trust–myself, my surroundings, people. It’s a choice, interestingly enough. I didn’t even realize that I had surrounded myself with all these walls, pretty much all of my life; walls of distracting fears that shielded me from true interactions and true connections. It used to be a form of self-protection and it had its place. But now these walls that used to be my best friend are my biggest obstacle.
I understand now that connection with others is what makes life worth fighting for; to allow myself to be seen, and to see and experience others as they truly are. It may take some time for my walls to come down, but I have a good view of what’s on the other side now. Brick by brick, I am undoing this distance and isolation.
In case you haven’t seen this yet, it’s definitely worth a gander: