I’m finding such joy in art right now; in being an artist. I look at my guitars, hung up on my wall: my Hofner bass, my Fender Telecaster, my acoustic Epiphone guitar, and I feel a deep connection to them. Although I am new to playing these instruments, I feel like I have a sensibility, my own style of doing it, much like I have my own way of singing. It is very gratifying–having those hypnotic moments of being in the zone–playing music; creating a beautiful sonic tapestry and just feeling like I want to lie down in it…to wrap myself up in it..
Even though I’ve been a professional artist over half of my life, I was always encouraged to think that mine is not a real job. I was even brainwashed to think, that I would never measure up to the real artists, who “actually know what they are doing.” (What?) I always had this nagging feeling in the back of my brain, that I should be studying to be a _______ or a(n)________. Probably because I was told, again and again, that I should get that aforementioned “real job.” What the fuck in this world is a real job, if mine isn’t, I ask you?
“We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people. ” -Carl Sagan
Keeping that in mind, can anyone please explain to me, why anyone should be doing anything other than what they love to do???
While I never did go to school to study _______, thinking that I was doomed trying to be an artist was painful and paralyzing. It was only last year that I finally gathered up the nerve to declare to myself and to my family, finally, that this in fact who I am. I Am a fucking artist. Goddammit.
Since then, things have changed for me. I have taken control of my destiny, and dedicated myself to the pursuit of art, as much as has been humanly possible. I’m still pissed off at myself for having allowed others to steer me off course. I’m even more pissed off at them for trying to do that in the first place! But I’m grateful that I had the courage to make the choices that have put me back on my path…
“I have spent my life learning how to choose to do what I had no choice but to do.” -Ursula K. Le Guin